What does safe proofing my marriage really mean and why is this so important? Safe proofing your relationship simply means spending time having an honest dialogue with your spouse about the steps each of you are committed to take in order to protect your relationship from third parties. When you do not have this dialogue and you leave it up to chance you might encounter infidelity. let me start by saying that 1 out of 4 marriages end up in infidelity according to statistics today. Infidelity is often divided into two groups. Physical infidelity and emotional. Any time you or your spouse go outside of your marriage and become intimate with someone else you have been unfaithful. Yes, having an intimate non-sexual relationship with a third party is considered cheating. So, how do you safe proof your marriage against it? What do you do when you do not want to become a statistic and you have the desire to honor your vows?
Here are Three helpful things you can do:
Make your marriage #1: This simply means that you prioritize your relationship. Before the kids, work, friends, family and community events. Your spouse is #1 on the list. Go out on dates frequently and invest on spending time with them and keeping a close intimate bond with each other.
Boundaries: Establish clear and healthy boundaries with the members of the opposite sex. Have a discussion with your spouse as to what they feel they are comfortable with when it comes to your interaction with the opposite sex. This can look very different from couple to couple, but what is important to remember is that you honor your spouse’s request and the guidelines you have established together. How do you know if you have crossed these boundaries? There are three major determining factors: 1) emotional intimacy, 2) sexual tension, and 3) secrecy. If any of these boundaries become blurry is time to back away from the relationship and re-evaluate.
Temptation: Avoid temptation at all cost. Know yourself and what triggers you, be honest with you and your partner. Don’t join on line chat rooms, social media, or any other forum that will increase the likelihood of becoming tempted. Don’t go out to lunch with co-workers you feel attracted to, don’t share personal information about your marriage with them or anyone else of the opposite sex.
Safe proofing your marriage takes work and commitment from you and your partner. However, it is way easier than having to keep up with the deception of hiding an affair until you get caught.
If you’re unsure whether you or your spouse have crossed the line and want to learn more please contact me at [email protected] or call me at 949-424-3084.